About Circles

The circle is known to be the oldest form of gathering for human beings beyond the nuclear family (sometimes referred to as "the family circle"). To this day, women in many indigenous cultures use circles as the basic social structure for doing their work, sharing information, making community decisions, and supporting one another. Modern women around the world are rediscovering the magic of the circle. Gathering in Circle (we always use a big C to refer to Peace X Peace Circles) is a way to claim our womanly power and strengthen each other to take on the formidable challenges of our time. Typically there is a Circle convener, who invites other women to join her in creating a Circle. If that is you,  congratulations for giving yourself and your friends a timeless gift.

Peace X Peace connects Circles of women across cultures. Women join first, then complete a profile so they can connect globally, or locally, if they prefer. We have heard many times over that home Circles "feel right" to women because they are safe to share and almost always leave feeling better. If that is true, imagine what can happen when a Circle of mothers in Atlanta communicates with a Circle of grandmothers in Nairobi! The Atlanta Circle sells baskets that the Kenyan grandmothers make. The profits pay the school fees for eleven deserving orphans.

We will walk you through the standard steps of forming a Circle or bringing Circles to your current women's group to lend more meaning to the existing structure. Circles meet as frequently as the members decide - typically, once a week to once a month.

Circle Basics

 Most Circles value these roles, tools, and procedures. Circle Principles hold the magic when creating and meeting in a woman's Circle.

• Convener - She extends the invitation, calls the Circle, and organizes the meeting - in person, by phone, or online.
• Timekeeper - She guides and monitors the time that each Circle member has to speak.
• Sacred Center - By placing candles, flowers, meaningful objects, or a colorful cloth in the middle of the room where you meet, you can create a meditative space conducive to reflection and sharing.
• Check-ins and Check-outs - Begin with a one-minute check in and check out at the end of your time together. A brief question invites a reading of where each member is upon entering and leaving the sacred space. We list some sample questions below. The same question moves around the Circle for each member to answer.
• Talking Stick - This is an ancient symbol that makes sharing easier. The member holding the stick is the one speaking, while all other members practice focused, compassionate, active listening. The talking stick is passed to the left or placed back into the sacred center for someone else to pick up when she feels a need to speak.
• Chimes or bells - Many Circles use these to open and again to close the Circle time.
• Size of Circles - The recommended size is 3 to 12 women.

Circle principles are the magic!
Women's Circles are a place where the collective wisdom surfaces from inside out principally because there are agreed-upon communication guidelines. They support the creation of a safe space, where each member knows she will be heard and her story honored, and that everyone is equal. To get the most out of your time together, we recommend practicing Circle principles.

•  Speak one at a time.
•  Affirm the contributions of each member.
•  Promote honest communication.
•  Listen actively without judgment.
•  Offer experience, not advice.
•  Invite silence when in doubt.
•  Rotate leadership.
•  Build consensus.
•  Maintain confidentiality.

Remember that the person holding the talking stick is the only one speaking. Honor her story, listen without judgment, give experience rather than advice, do not cross-talk or interrupt, and most important, maintain confidentiality. This is the magic for a thriving Circle.

What do you actually do in a Circle?
You talk from your heart, share from your heart, listen from your heart. The rest will follow. A typical Circle gathering might go something like this:

Step One: The convener opens the Circle. She creates the mood with an object that symbolizes the sacred center: a candle, a flower, an image, or anything else that has value to the members.

Step Two: The group chooses a timekeeper. This woman will quietly and gently make sure that each member is able to hear and be heard. If someone goes over the time the group has agreed on, the timekeeper takes responsibility for saying aloud that her time is done.

Step Three: A chime or some other signal marks the beginning of Circle time.

Step Four:  The convener invites group members to a moment of silence, deep breathing, meditation, or prayer. This is the time to let go of our busy minds, schedules, and concerns.

Step Five: The convener asks each member to check in briefly.

Step Six: Compassionate listening is the job of the Circle members. They are asked not to comment, judge, criticize, or give advice during the check-in. It is important that all members agree to hold all that is spoken in a Circle in confidence. Any member who breaks that trust may be asked to leave the group.

Step Seven: The Circle decides on additional questions to ask and answer. Some Circles put the stick in the middle of the Circle. As women feel the need to share from their hearts they pick up the stick.

Step Eight: After the agreed-upon Circle time is ended, the convener suggests a check-out question and each member responds.

Step Nine: The convener rings the chime, blows out the candle, or otherwise closes the Circle.

What are some typical guiding questions or topics to get the Circle engaged?

We have created a few of our own to get you jump-started. Remember, only one of these would be used for the actual check-in question. From there you create your own Circle questions or leads. Otherwise, after the check-in, let the Circle move spontaneously.

The check-in topic might be:

• "Today I feel....."
• "I am glad to be here because..."
• "Peace for me would be...."
• "What I bring to the Circle today...."

Possible check-out prompts might be:

• "After spending time with all of you, I....."
• "In our time together, I learned...."
• "I commit to...."
• "Where I am right now is...."